Mattering Less versus Mattering Differently December 2, 2011

Over the past two years, my role has changed dramatically with two very dear populations.   Today I received clear, bittersweet reminders of those evolutions and am once again left confounded by the concepts of mattering less versus mattering differently. 

With one population, I have had the sorrowful realization that I now matter much less than I once did.  My heart aches for the lost relationships and impact I might’ve had if those personal relationships existed as they once had existed.  Presently, while I don’t have the same one-on-one experiences, I participate in a broader scope of influence.  Or, perhaps I’m simply trying to convince myself that the loss of personal impact is part of a natural progression for which I should be comfortable.

With the second population, I’m in the process of departing a circle of mentorship and influence.  While the change in this situation may decrease responsibilities, it also removes from me some opportunities to both be challenged as well as to uniquely matter.

I’m highly fortunate to have had the opportunities to be involved in both populations – in whatever capacity – however, my heart aches knowing far less I matter to them.  The roles once filled by me are easily filled by others, but I am selfishly left to consider the internal void left in my own absence.  

So – I send these questions out to the void –

Have you experienced a situation in which you feel like you no longer matter or perhaps how you matter has evolved?  How were you able to embrace that change?  Or, did you have a midlife crisis and go by a ridiculous car?  (That sounds pretty good to me…)

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